A Heart A Day #42

Posted on September 21, 2016 by Tessie O'Steel

Today, September 21st, is International Day of Peace. My heart of today is dedicated to this wondrous day.

Peace, peace, peace…writing it down is so easy. Saying or reading it multiple times and it becomes a weird word, like all words that are said or written a lot of times in a row. But somehow, to me, with the word ‘peace’ this seems the case: the weirder it feels, the better it suits.

So many fires are burning at the moment, so much hatred and frustration and miscommunication scattered around in the world. What is peace these days? Well…peace is a general concept, but sadly not available to all. What does peace look like? I guess my country is living “in peace” at the moment, but that doesn’t mean this country is Heaven on Earth. On the contrary. The tension is high, hatred simmers underneath the surface. Lambs and lions don’t play together.

In other countries, of which we all can say that there is no peace at the moment, the concept of peace is just that: a concept. There is no time for exchanging thoughts on peace, just for surviving.

So you see, I think overall ‘peace’ is complex. But it is non the less important. Important to think about, talk about, spend time trying to create small-scale peace. Maybe in your neighbourhood. Not just for one day though. Every day. Peace definitely needs effort, from all of us.

For me peace means ‘a judgement-free world in which we live side by side, all of us equal to one another’. What does it mean to you?

A Heart A Day – Major catch-up, part one

Posted on September 1, 2016 by Tessie O'Steel

Here’s a major catch-up, part one; hearts 24 – 32. And I realise I’ll still be behind, as today should be day #36 of my challenge. Do I have a good excuses for this delay? Well, yes. I got food poisoning… When I was finally back on track I did pick up continuing making hearts, but simply didn’t get round to posting them. Life is what happened :-) But once I’ve caught up, I’ll be determined to pick up where I was, as creating a heart a day is the best challenge! The focus I now have on self-compassion and compassion towards others is what I was looking for. It triggers my brain every day!

So here we go, 9 hearts as catch-up part one. Descriptions underneath each photo.

#24 – my ode to food poisoning, as sea fruits were the cause of it all. Took me a couple of days before I could look at shells and create this heart ;-)

: #25 – note to self. Pictures of the sketch and final drawing combined.

: #26 – note to self. Pictures of the sketch and final drawing combined.

: #27 – note to self. Pictures of the sketch and final drawing combined.

#28 – you have to look closely to find the banana-candy heart. Inspired by the colours of the picture underneath which I took while baby-sitting.

#29 – KISS MORE! Inspired by a good week for kissing ;-)

#30 – my flower heart as an apology to you. Sorry I kept you waiting for more hearts…

: #31 – accidental as I wasn’t planning on creating a heart while clearing out my house… But then I found these, which I once made. In a very Dutch-flag mood.

: #32 – look away if you have a toe phobia! This is the real deal when it comes to ‘accidental’. Painting my nails, my eyes suddenly noticed this tiny read heart!

With love,

Tess

PS: Have you created or spotted a heart this week? Share it with me! Use #aheartaday and social media may overflow with hearts…

[I love love and I love hearts! But oh, this world needs more visible love. So let’s change that, step by step. Away with pessimism. Away with hate. Let’s fill this world with love. And hearts! To show compassion towards each other, towards the planet, towards ourselves. It proves to be difficult for so many of us. But instead of judging it’s more meaningful to show love, to respond with love, to act out of love. Say it with hearts.
So I’m sharing A Heart A Day. Every day I will draw, stitch, paint or otherwise create a heart and post it on this blog. Will you help me make love and hearts spread like a contagious but healthy disease?]

I’m gonna re-write me a love song

Posted on August 19, 2016 by Tessie O'Steel

In the process of learning to love and appreciate myself I’ve come up with endless ways to make it happen. Some ways stick, others don’t. A favourite of mine is rewriting love songs. Finding the cheesiest love songs and then starting to swap you with me or I.

I do hear you think: that is SO SILLY!

True! But…do you ever really listen to love songs? As in ‘really’, word for word? If you do, you may have noticed that most love songs seem to be about how someone’s happiness and self-confidence depends on the other. It’s always focussed on the other. Never on the person itself. Never on you, your importance, the fact that you are the person you’ll live with your whole life.

So yes, it’s absolutely silly. It will make you laugh out loud at first. But give it a try, ‘cause after a while you’ll notice that the words really reflect with you. And the whole love song gets a different meaning. In fact LOVE gets a different meaning. It starts to become clear that it starts with you!
And here we get to one of my main realisations during my self-love journey. My happiness doesn’t depend on someone else. Not the other is responsible for my happiness, but I am.

I totally understand if you don’t get it right now, if you think I’m nuts – I am – or whatever it is you think. But fact is that this – rewriting love songs – is something that has helped me on my self-love journey. And to help you on your way, here are some examples:
To start, we’ll take one of the neediest songs from the ’90-ies. I need you by T3. If you don’t recall, bear with.

This is the refrain of the above mentioned song:
I need you
And I couldn’t live a day without you
I need you
More than anyone I ever know
I need you
And I wanna build my world around you
I need you
I need you

Yikes.

Now the fun part – rewriting it!

I need ME
And I couldn’t live a day without ME
I need ME
More than anyone I ever know
I need ME
And I wanna build my world around ME
I need ME
I need ME

And there you have it. The essence of life: you need yourself to get through life, you need to take care of yourself and build your world around you (not in a egocentric way, mind) before you can build a life with someone else. That’s the core of what I’m learning, little by little, bit by bit.

Let’s try another song. This Love, This Heart by Phil Collins. This is what it looks like after the formula of self-love:

This love, this heart, these arms to hold
So tight to me, I won’t let go
Can this be real, or just some dream that feels so true
I wish myself love, I wish myself more
I’m all that I live for
I’ll never hurt me, believe me
My heart beats just for me
It only beats for me

I’ll keep the fire alight for me
Can’t think of nothing else, what can I do
This lonely heart of mine, it only beats for me
It only beats for me
I bring me peace, I make myself smile
I give myself strength and all the while
I ask for nothing, only love
And my heart beats just for me
It only beats for me
—
I won’t give up, I’ll wait for me
‘Til I come back, it’s all I can do
I’ll be right here, I’m going nowhere without me….!

Okay, that one may sound a bit sad. On the other hand, don’t you wish you would tell yourself “I wish myself love” or “I’ll keep the fire alight for me”? Amazing, wishing yourself love! That’s what I’m trying to wish myself and give myself: love. And by singing love songs to myself, literally, it sticks. There you have the whole point of singing them to yourself: it is so funny, that it can’t do much else but stick. And slowly it will start to make sense. These days I can tell myself in the mirror that I love myself.And that’s the best feeling!

Save the best for last, Charles Aznavour’s Me, eehm, She:

I may be the reason I survive
The why and wherefore I’m alive
The one I’ll care for through the rough and ready years
Me I’ll take my laughter and my tears
And make them all my souvenirs
For where I go I’ve got to be
The meaning of my life is me

I mean, come on! This is the core of it all. You are the reason you are alive. The one person to take care of is you, in the first place. Why neglect yourself and expect others to do all the caring and loving for you? Why do you think that, if you loathe yourself, you are able to love others? Why expect others to love and adore you and take care of you if all signals you send out are signals of self-hate?

I hope I’ve given you some food for thought…or at least something to smile about ;-)

With love,
Tess

Love and music. Essentials.

A Heart A Day #19 AND #20

Posted on August 16, 2016 by Tessie O'Steel

Oh yes, you caught me there! I missed day #19… The heart was ready, but I just didn’t find a moment to post. But that’s okay. I’m compassionate towards myself ;-) And today you’ll get two hearts from me instead. How lucky do you feel now?

Yesterday’s heart I created on a party last Saturday with the help of a friend. Shadow and light and the famous hand-made heart on a rough old factory wall. The lights create two shadows, two hearts. They look so bold!
The heart for day #20 I made from a game for children. Totally different than yesterday’s heart, but I think it’s pretty colourful and cool, too.

How is your heart doing today? Are your actions and thoughts slowly growing more compassionate? Towards yourself and others?

With love,

Tess

PS: Have you created or spotted a heart this week? Share it with me! Use #aheartaday and social media may overflow with hearts…

#19

#20

A Heart A Day #18

Posted on August 14, 2016 by Tessie O'Steel

Late night bloggin’. I created a heart earlier this day, but didn’t find the time to post it. But here we are.

The third quote-heart, another of my favourite quotes. Anne Frank. How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world. I don’t expect I’ll solve all wars in the world and find THE answer to world-peace (although I sometimes dream I do, but always wake up having lost the clue of that dream), but this phrase from the extraordinary Anne Frank always gets to me. I put it on my inspiration wall. It motivates me to follow my heart, to do my bit for the world no matter how small it may seem. It even motivated me to finally go ahead and start this little heart-project!
And I say extraordinary Anne Frank, because it simply is so. All those wise words she’s written, at such a young age. It blows my mind, time and time again.

Today’s heart from me to you I drew myself, then mixed in a picture of Anne Frank and added some dried flowers from my collection (indeed, I have a collection…). I hope this quote and heart will reach you, inspire you. Know that even the smallest gesture, the tiniest act of kindness, can make a difference for someone. So why not go on and do it?

With love,
Tess

PS: Have you created or spotted a heart this week? Share it with me! Use #aheartaday and social media may overflow with hearts…

A Heart A Day #11

Posted on August 7, 2016 by Tessie O'Steel

Day #11. Today’s heart from me to you. Another rainbow coloured heart. Using pencils, fineliner and ruler.

What are your thoughts on self-compassion? Are you as kind to yourself as you are to others? The way your mind speaks to you, would you accept that from anyone else? Share your thoughts and – if you wish – create a heart or take a picture of a heart you found. Use #aheartaday.

With love,
Tess

[I love love and I love hearts! But oh, there’s too little of it, this world needs more love. So let’s change that, step by step. Away with pessimism. Away with hate. Let’s fill this world with love. And hearts. To show compassion towards each other, towards the planet, towards ourselves. It proves to be difficult for so many of us. But instead of judging it’s more meaningful to show love, to respond with love, to act out of love. Say it with hearts.